New year celebrations are funny things especially when it comes to resolutions. I mean, I’m the same person at midnight as I was an hour before waiting on the ball to drop. Nothing changes just because the date does. It’s just another day, after all.
New Year Sunrise
In reality, every new day is a day we can evaluate life and make changes if we choose.
But, there’s something about resetting the clock. A fresh start. A new year full of possibility.
As Chip and Dan Heath put it in The Power of Moments, New Year resolutions really should be called “New Year absolutions.” It’s like the slate for old me is wiped clean and new me has the potential to come alive.
We’ve all tried (and failed) at resolutions before. So, I took a different approach this year. I decided to take an entire month to discover areas of change and focus for 2019 rather than determine them by brute force.
Like many of you, I’ve spent some time over the past few days reflecting on 2018 and looking ahead to 2019. Of course, there have been tough spots and low points just like any other year. Because my nature is to only focus on areas that need improvement, I’m aiming to celebrate more.
My Best Nine for 2018 on Instagram
This list took some effort and I think it’s solid. And, I feel a deep sense of gratitude. Some of these are a bit more personal. Others might seem self-congratulating. But, my hope and prayer is that through my sharing, it will inspire you to look back and find those gifts from God in your own life. We don’t deserve them, yet because of God’s generosity and love, we have the freedom to enjoy them.
I also hope it challenges you to reach higher in 2019. When I look at this list, I certainly feel that. I’m humbled and grateful but also ready to get after it.
So, without shame or qualification, I invite you to celebrate 2018 with me. Here’s my Top 100 for 2018:
“In spirituality we learn far more from getting it wrong than we do by getting it right.”
Richard Rohr
The Story
Last week, I heard some unsettling news. News, that if I’m honest, is really none of my business. But, since I genuinely care about those involved, my first response was one of concern. Some old friends, who I haven’t talked with in a while, are on the verge of making a huge life decision. They’re getting married. Under normal circumstances, I’d be happy for them. But in this case, I’m not. I’m troubled.
One of them has just recently gone through (and I’d say, still in the middle of) a pretty painful experience. It’s still very fresh. And so, there I am all alone at the breakfast table having this internal conversation… pleading.
“It’s too soon! You really need to heal. You’ve gotta talk this out with someone. Give it some time. You need to make sure you’ve recovered from all this stuff. Can’t either of you (or anyone close to you) see that this can’t possibly have a healthy foundation? Come on bro, this isn’t wise at this time.”
I just recently finished a wonderful book by David A. Price called The Pixar Touch. In it, the author chronicles the rise of the computer-animation pioneer and follows the founders’ unrelenting quest to produce the first full-length feature animated movie.
For years, Pixar sold computer hardware as it’s core business before getting the opportunity to pursue their dream and passion. What a lesson in patience and “keeping your eye on the ball.”
Every story is interesting and compelling if you look hard enough. I believe we can learn multiple lessons from every book. This one is no exception. Many business and life lessons can be gained from the Pixar story but one encounter stands out. In the past week, there’s been a lot of reflection on the life of Steve Jobs and his impact on culture.
Of course, this book wouldn’t be complete without spending considerable time on the role of CEO, Steve Jobs. His commencement speech at Stanford University in 2005 reveals a man who matured and learned a great deal about what is truly important. This story isn’t about that man. It’s about the much younger Steve Jobs.
The Story
It’s 1986. Steve Jobs has been fired from Apple, the company he founded. Lucasfilms owns Pixar (not their name at the time). All Pixar wants to do is make computer-animated films. This means they aren’t focused on developing the digital sound and video editing systems Lucasfilms wants. Not to mention the boring electronic accounting programs. These are the reasons George Lucas bought them in the first place.
Just over a year ago, I stood on top of Mount Rainier after five days of learning from and climbing with the best. Glacier travel. Self-arrest practice. Building snow walls so you don’t get blown off the mountain. Not showering for a week. Pooping in blue plastic baggies. Packing out said baggies. The experience was incredible. Well, maybe not those last few bits. Being in the elements, carrying a fifty-five pound pack, and moving up the mountain roped together was difficult to say the least.
Outcome-Based Goals
Most of the time we focus too much on outcome-based goals and end up sabotaging ourselves along the way. Some examples are:
Destination Goals
Getting to the top of Mount Rainier was a destination goal. I wanted to end up in a certain place. Your goals don’t all have to be physical destinations though. For example, you may want to weigh 25 pounds less than you do right now. That’s a destination. To be in a different “place” physically. Another example might be a certain dollar amount in your bank account. That’s a destination.
Competitive or Performance Goals
In a race for example, you not only want to finish (destination) but you want to perform better than you did last time or beat a competitor who usually gets the best of you. Of course, this translates to other aspects of life like sales or getting that promotion.
There are several problems with setting outcome goals as your main targets. First, there are too many uncontrollable factors that could affect the outcome. What if a blizzard forces an extended stay at Camp II? What if your company begins to lay people off? What if the market crashes (again)
Second, outcome-based goals are black and white. Either you achieve them or you fail, and this kind of focus can lead to decreased enjoyment and eventually burnout.
Process Goals
Process goals, however, are quite different. Before I even arrived at the base of the mountain, I needed to lose a quite a bit of weight. Topping out at 273, it was daunting to even consider climbing a mountain. Losing that amount of weight in and of itself is a huge goal. But instead of focusing on the outcome-based goals, I focused on the process.
“I will climb the stairs of the twenty-story building today.” “I will plan my meals for the week.” “I will go for a run.” “I will make a better choice when I’m out at the restaurant with friends.”
When you focus on the process and making better choices, you actually end up reaching your destination and achieving your performance goals. In the past few months, I’ve revised my triathlon goals a few times. I’ve renegotiated them with myself due to time constraints and family priorities. But, because the destination for me isn’t the end all, I’m ok and don’t feel guilty. I still get on the bike, still run and am still making better diet decisions. Why? Because that’s part of the process of living a healthy lifestyle which is really what I’m after.
I’ve got some areas of my life that I’m frustrated with right now. I’d really like to be in a different “place.” So, I’m looking for ways to focus on the process so it doesn’t get overwhelming.
What about you? What’s been on your bucket list for years? You know, that thing you feel guilty about because you’ve not accomplished it yet and it just stares at you. Well, don’t look at it.
Look at the small thing in front of you. The thing that will move you towards it. Focus on that. And then tomorrow and the next day and the next…“rinse and repeat.” You’ll get there before you know it.
