You work hard. You train. You learn what your body can and can’t do. You know what pace, recovery, and nutrition works and what doesn’t. You put money down. You book the hotel.
You’re ready. You show up. And, the mind games begin.
You look around at thousands of other people and begin to compare.
“But I’m not racing them! I’m racing me!”
You have to resist the urge to toss the plan you’ve spent months on simply because you are racing with others.
As I mentioned before, when I talk of “racing” I don’t mean competitively. I’m talking about the challenging thing you choose just because it’s hard.
Triathlon is the ultimate individual sport. You’re with so many other people but you’re racing alone with no help. It’s all you and that’s part of the allure.
The number on the scale read 272. At one time or another, most of us carry a few extra pounds but that number was much more than “a few extra.” Needless to say, I needed to make some changes.
Motivation
I don’t enjoy exercise for the sake of exercise. I understand the value and benefit, but to be honest, I hate it. On the other hand, adventure and exploration have great appeal. A goal to reach or challenge to meet is much more in line with my nature.
I need something on the calendar to motivate me. A looming date that if I don’t train and stay in shape, I’ll die. Not literally, of course. Well, possibly. Not really… but, maybe.
In 2010, I decided to climb a mountain with a buddy of mine. We set a date and put money down on a guide company. It got serious quick and was time to get to work.
I dropped the weight. Got in shape. Six months later I was standing on top of Mount Rainier, the tallest glaciated volcano in the Lower 48. It was a blast!
New year celebrations are funny things especially when it comes to resolutions. I mean, I’m the same person at midnight as I was an hour before waiting on the ball to drop. Nothing changes just because the date does. It’s just another day, after all.
New Year Sunrise
In reality, every new day is a day we can evaluate life and make changes if we choose.
But, there’s something about resetting the clock. A fresh start. A new year full of possibility.
As Chip and Dan Heath put it in The Power of Moments, New Year resolutions really should be called “New Year absolutions.” It’s like the slate for old me is wiped clean and new me has the potential to come alive.
We’ve all tried (and failed) at resolutions before. So, I took a different approach this year. I decided to take an entire month to discover areas of change and focus for 2019 rather than determine them by brute force.
Like many of you, I’ve spent some time over the past few days reflecting on 2018 and looking ahead to 2019. Of course, there have been tough spots and low points just like any other year. Because my nature is to only focus on areas that need improvement, I’m aiming to celebrate more.
My Best Nine for 2018 on Instagram
This list took some effort and I think it’s solid. And, I feel a deep sense of gratitude. Some of these are a bit more personal. Others might seem self-congratulating. But, my hope and prayer is that through my sharing, it will inspire you to look back and find those gifts from God in your own life. We don’t deserve them, yet because of God’s generosity and love, we have the freedom to enjoy them.
I also hope it challenges you to reach higher in 2019. When I look at this list, I certainly feel that. I’m humbled and grateful but also ready to get after it.
So, without shame or qualification, I invite you to celebrate 2018 with me. Here’s my Top 100 for 2018:
Ok… “problem” is not the right word. There’s nothing wrong with bucket lists. In fact, a bucket list is something I believe you should take the time to think through and draft. But having a list is the easy part. The problem with bucket lists is that most of the time they are just that… lists.
There are many challenges when I look at my bucket list. And not just my list. You all had quite a few big ones on the list as well. Here’s a sampling (of items sent in by you):
What do you do when your dream dies? When it’s obvious that all you’ve worked towards isn’t going to come to pass. One day you realize, you’re just not good at what you’ve been pursuing. You’re not built for it. It’s not a natural strength. And now, you find yourself depressed and asking, “What’s next?”
In it, the author explores how the City of Light attracted hundreds of Americans between 1830 and 1900 — including household names like Harriet Beecher Stowe, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Samuel Morse, and Mark Twain – and in turn helped shape American art, medicine, writing, science and politics. Set in Paris, it is a brilliant perspective on American history.
Morse Code
One of the characters I’ve appreciated following is Samuel Morse. I was unaware that Morse had his heart set on becoming a world-class master painter since his early days in college. And, even though he had a measure of success painting portraits, he failed in his ultimate pursuit.
Gallery of the Louvre by Samuel Morse
He had travelled to Paris to learn from the masters and spent everyday for two years working on The Gallery of the Louvre. It depicts many of the Louvre’s great paintings on a 6×9 foot canvas. Morse sold it for far less than he was hoping.
Just over a year ago, I stood on top of Mount Rainier after five days of learning from and climbing with the best. Glacier travel. Self-arrest practice. Building snow walls so you don’t get blown off the mountain. Not showering for a week. Pooping in blue plastic baggies. Packing out said baggies. The experience was incredible. Well, maybe not those last few bits. Being in the elements, carrying a fifty-five pound pack, and moving up the mountain roped together was difficult to say the least.
Outcome-Based Goals
Most of the time we focus too much on outcome-based goals and end up sabotaging ourselves along the way. Some examples are:
Destination Goals
Getting to the top of Mount Rainier was a destination goal. I wanted to end up in a certain place. Your goals don’t all have to be physical destinations though. For example, you may want to weigh 25 pounds less than you do right now. That’s a destination. To be in a different “place” physically. Another example might be a certain dollar amount in your bank account. That’s a destination.
Competitive or Performance Goals
In a race for example, you not only want to finish (destination) but you want to perform better than you did last time or beat a competitor who usually gets the best of you. Of course, this translates to other aspects of life like sales or getting that promotion.
There are several problems with setting outcome goals as your main targets. First, there are too many uncontrollable factors that could affect the outcome. What if a blizzard forces an extended stay at Camp II? What if your company begins to lay people off? What if the market crashes (again)
Second, outcome-based goals are black and white. Either you achieve them or you fail, and this kind of focus can lead to decreased enjoyment and eventually burnout.
Process Goals
Process goals, however, are quite different. Before I even arrived at the base of the mountain, I needed to lose a quite a bit of weight. Topping out at 273, it was daunting to even consider climbing a mountain. Losing that amount of weight in and of itself is a huge goal. But instead of focusing on the outcome-based goals, I focused on the process.
“I will climb the stairs of the twenty-story building today.” “I will plan my meals for the week.” “I will go for a run.” “I will make a better choice when I’m out at the restaurant with friends.”
When you focus on the process and making better choices, you actually end up reaching your destination and achieving your performance goals. In the past few months, I’ve revised my triathlon goals a few times. I’ve renegotiated them with myself due to time constraints and family priorities. But, because the destination for me isn’t the end all, I’m ok and don’t feel guilty. I still get on the bike, still run and am still making better diet decisions. Why? Because that’s part of the process of living a healthy lifestyle which is really what I’m after.
I’ve got some areas of my life that I’m frustrated with right now. I’d really like to be in a different “place.” So, I’m looking for ways to focus on the process so it doesn’t get overwhelming.
What about you? What’s been on your bucket list for years? You know, that thing you feel guilty about because you’ve not accomplished it yet and it just stares at you. Well, don’t look at it.
Look at the small thing in front of you. The thing that will move you towards it. Focus on that. And then tomorrow and the next day and the next…“rinse and repeat.” You’ll get there before you know it.
